Must post my “Jesus Gnome” video here…

Yes, this is me shamelessly promoting a fun and funny (intended, anyway) parody on today’s Rapture prediction and every prediction thereafter. My friends Dawson and Brian conjured it up and I added to it with a website and a knitted gnome I created, and you can see it all and even purchase specialty items at www.apocalypseandarmageddon.org. It’s Dawson’s Rapture Insurance that is pretty wild. You can read that here.

It’s all in good fun, so keep that in mind if you are religious. As I explain on my Testy Knitter site, on the “Gnomes!!!” page, I was raised Southern Baptist so I have a lifelong reason for exemption in the “making fun of Christianity” department. Hallelujah!

Rapture Insurance, for you lowly sinners!

It’s weird posting this at two blogs instead of one, so to switch it up a bit, I’m going to highlight some funnies from my friend Dawson and Brian’s Apocalypse & Armageddon Assurance Associates, LLC (AAAA) Rapture Insurance policy, which can be found at http://www.apocalypseandarmageddon.org/insurance/.

“Significant Other” examples: spouse; civil union domestic partner; innocent and blameless only child; dog; cat; goldfish; gerbil; other Lonely Hearts Club live-in or pet; indispensable caretaker/house keeper; or blow-up doll…

Ha!!! Forget it! You have to read it yourself. I just read through it again and it’s hysterical!! And it makes no sense in snippets. XD

Brian and Dawson went to a lot of trouble to make the Insurance Policy thorough, to decorate it nicely for purchasing, and Brian created art that is cool and funny. Please visit the “Collectibles” page to buy the items you want.

I built the website and whipped up a “Jesus Gnome” and we’re going to continually add to the site, because I’m predicting that October 21st will be a fairly uneventful day. Well, Rapture-wise, anyway. If what happened on May 21st is any indication, a friend of mine may want to watch a Lady Gaga concert at my house and I might drink wine… but that will probably be the extent of it. To see al seven minutes of that excitement, visit this link.

Oooooh, look. Perdy Insurance Cetificate…

This picture cracks me up!!

“Rock me, rock me, rock me sexy Jesus!…”

Please pass this around to the friends you know will get a good laugh out of it. I’ll add a “Buy” link to the A&A site once I type out the various patterns, but for now you can find my writeup about “Jesus Gnome/The Dude Gnome” here. BWAHAHAHA!!!

Knitted People Having Sex; so bizarre, so funny, so cool

From Cute Porn Productions, I give you a strange, funny… knitted porno?

The Blindness of the Woods…

The Blindness of the Woods from amautalab on Vimeo.

No Supermoon here. It was too cloudy to see…

I went out with Doug to take some pictures of the ‘Supermoon’, but alas the sky was all clouds. I did get to see a moment of it, but the effect was more ‘creepy horror movie’ than ‘Supermoon’.

Radiation was supposed to make it here over the weekend. Doug and I prepared everything for just staying indoors, but then it rained. We’d heard no reports for rain until the rain hit, really. And then Doug relayed a story of a man out at sea as seven jets passed overhead releasing vapor into the sky. Could it be that these jets instigated the rain in order to save us from the levels of radiation being carried through the winds from Japan, however small those levels might be? Well, I don’t know, and while I don’t usually enjoy speculation, anything government-related is interesting, to me.

I’m receiving odd emails from someone named William Maziarski. Unfortunately, I think he expects me to write him back, but I don’t see a reason to write back. I barely understand what he’s saying.

March 18, 2011; sent at 1:21am “im dollar bill from queens ur rant is alot like mine with better spellin” — God I hope so.

And yesterday at 11:58pm “denise richards she is better lookin than u so is bree olson” — Being prettier than me isn’t hard for many people, but being as or more vapid than Denise Richards is impossible. (lol) I’m kidding! I couldn’t help myself. I do not know her. But wait, they have Charlie Sheen in common. Am I to surmise that this person is stuck on Charlie Sheen women? And what do I have to do with any of that? I never hung out with Charlie Sheen…. or did I???

I was thrilled when TMZ edited me out of some ‘Sheen and women’ photos, but now I must post the original pictures to prove… uh, what am I proving? Oh, who cares! It’s Sunday and raining for goodness’ sake! SQUEEEEE!!!!!!

Birthday Stuff!!!

I know it’s Valentine’s Day, but I received a treasure trove of goodness in the mail over the weekend that has recreated my birthday all over again, and I have to share!

I am sipping a glass of wine from my friend EH, a 2008 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon called “120″, I’m listening to Frank Zappa’s album Over-nite Sensation, and I’m flipping through a multitude of gift nuggets from M. Dawson Holland. Post birthday gifts ROCK!!!

“She said she was
A magic mama
And she could throw a mean tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know”

The cab is a sinewy blend of plum and currant. The initial impression is that of spice mixed with caramel, and the unfolding aftertaste is lemony and smooth. It’s a full and delicious Chilean wine that I’m savoring as I finger through my other goodies. Thank you, EH!!!

Dawson’s gifts are quite eclectic and wonderful…

I’ve never seen Brazil or Life or Brian. I’ve never heard a Frank Zappa cd. Never seen a National Lampoon magazine or a Howard The Duck magazine (for Doug), and the book is Ian Fleming’s Casino Royale, also for Doug.

Ha!!! This cover is just hysterical, and the contents are just as gut-splitting! Dawson has tried to convey to me the genius that was the National Lampoon circular, but nothing says it better than the real thing. From an ad for Frog shirts and sweaters (a parody of the Polo brand), to an ad about which panty liner prostitutes prefer, I nearly shat myself several times. And listen the actual articles are brilliant, but I’ve never seen a comedy-based magazine make fun of ads quite like this.

CALVIN KLEIN: Fashion kneepads for the working girl.
“Nothing comes between me and the floor.
Except my Calvin’s.”

Hysterical!!! And after a bit of fun, TIME magazine really lends an alternate view of the time.

It’s December 1980 and John Lennon has been murdered by Mark David Chapman. The world has lost a compassionate and talented singer-songwriter, human rights activist and purveyor of peace; a genius and cultural icon. John Belushi is still alive and promoting the movie Continental Divide, President Reagan announces that Americans are using less fuel, and cigarette ads get two full pages in the middle of the magazine.

By the time the Zappa cd has cycled through, I have a cd full of jazz music to enjoy, courtesy of Dawon Sr. and after that, a montage of video sequences I’m sure will delight my senses. And if all of this isn’t enough generosity, a manuscript awaits my reading.

I’m overwhelmed and grateful. I have a treasure trove of gifts and happiness and warm memories because the real treasures are my friends, both remote and near. Thank you EH and M. Dawsom Holland! Thank you to all my friends and I hope you enjoy a Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

My Favorite Savage Chickens 1-10

These are my favorite Savage Chickens beginning with ten and working my way down to one. Goofy and wonderful are they! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

And number one–the cartoon that hung printed on my office wall!

I know. It is marvelous, isn’t it?

My Favorite Savage Chickens 11-20

I love Savage Chickens! They are simple and infinitely silly cartoons on post-it notes and they really brightened the work day back when I spent a lot of time in a cubicle. My friend DK would send his favorites every once in a while, so I decided to pull my favorites from Doug Savage’s site.

“Jeff Bridges: The Dude Abides” – the full documentary

Jim Mazz turned me on to this and I couldn’t be more thrilled to post it here. I’m a huge The Big Lebowski fan, but also a huge Jeff Bridges fan and this documentary is a candid and touching piece about a legendary actor. I always filed him in my mind among such underrated actors as Kevin Kline, Gena Rowlands and Diane Lane, before her breakthrough performance in Unfaithful. I don’t watch the Oscars but I watched when Bridges was nominated and perfectly thrilled to see him win the award for Best Actor. I love that this film showcases his photographs. If you ever get a chance to check out the Bonus Features from The Big Lebowski, you must check out the interview and segment about his photography. It’s brilliant.

A Nova Scotia Ad Company Reminds Us That Sex Workers Are People

Incredible that people must be reminded that sex workers are human beings.

This ad is one of three that were posted in the Halifax Regional Municipality of Nova Scotia this past December. Stepping Stone is the non-profit organization behind these ads and their website states very bold messages. “Sex workers have the right to life, liberty and security.” “Sex workers are entitled to health, safety and access to services.” “Sex workers have the right to self-determination.” “Sex workers are people.”

The company behind the artwork is Extreme Group and their website has this to say about the ad campaign:

“The campaign communicates the message that sex workers are people too – they are mothers, daughters and brothers. This message will be displayed in various forms including posters and print ads. Launching today and continuing into the New Year, the campaign comes during the week of The International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, and a vigil that provides a moment of reflection for the loss of 17 mothers, daughters, sisters and friends from our own community since 1985.”

An organization that cares for sex workers. That’s brilliant. And why don’t we see sex workers as human beings? Because we are disconnected from affection when we think of sex? I mean, a person, even having sex, is still obviously a human being, but somehow people forget that. Rather than relax and enjoy our time here we busy ourselves with what other people are doing to the point that sex workers are thrown in jail and treated the same as murderers and thieves. Companionship is not the same as theft or murder. Companionship is healing, and with the decriminalization of prostitution, kind people in search of companionship can thrive and be protected from predators who, incidentally, thrive in a world where sex workers are punished and have to hide in the shadows.

If we could ever just relax about what other people are doing with their bodies and not guilt people to the point where they experience extreme sexual conduct because they are repressing themselves in unhealthy ways, we would see an actual decline in violence. But, how do you keep people down unless you preach about and perpetuate violence?

More Rich Photographs from Michael Eivaz

Michael Eivaz sent me more gorgeous pictures he’s taken. The Dragons Herb-Elixir Bar Grand Opening. Also, he’s added more to his Personal Portfolio, and pictures of Rodney Bingenheimer with links about him. Did I also mention the Getty Villa Slideshow set to a lazy French song? Mmmm….

Happy Friday everyone!!

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