Cleavage Causes Earthquakes – Thanks “Wally”

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A pen pal sent me an article about a woman who has started a boobie movement. Awesome! I had to follow the story back a bit to get to the source, and found an article on www.dailymail.co.uk that explains it all. It’s not enough that women get blamed for all that’s evil in religious history, forget just covering them up entirely and then murdering directors in the street for attempting to unveil the emotional, mental and physically cruelties that happen behind closed doors – according to an Iranian cleric [read: religious hoohah] women who show too much skin also cause natural disasters. According to yet another person lost in the sands of time, with no clue what actually causes earthquakes and that “Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries and seismologists have warned for 20 years that one is likely to hit Tehran, which straddles scores of fault lines, in the near future,” chicks are powerful enough with their fun bags to cause the entire planet to shift and change form. What the fuck am I doing just sitting here in WeHo if I have that kind of power!?!? Wonder Woman, move over!!!

What’s fun about this mess is a woman named, Jen McCreight, with a blog called “Blag Hag”. She is a self-professed “liberal, geeky, nerdy, scientific, perverted atheist feminist trapped in Indiana,” and she is hysterical! So far, the “Atheist Barbie” page is my favorite.

Today, Jen claims she’ll “wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own” in order to test the scientific claim that dressing immodestly will cause earthquakes. She is calling for other women to get their visual boob action going, “Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty.” McCreight continues, saying “With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi [read: religious hoohah] can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it’ll be one involving plate tectonics.” It’s a logical experiment and a noble one, at that. It also seems like a good reason to be flasher for a day.

Of course, I fear that even if all the women covered up and an earthquake still happens in Tehran (as it most likely will), women will still be to blame for thinking about having on less clothing. Or for having periods or something? I don’t know. If women were that powerful, men could not keep them from doing just about anything. “Oh, that wasn’t an earthquake. I wished for that rock to fall on his head.” “Really?” “Oh yeah, I flashed the suckuh my knee!”

Does this invitation extend to transgender and gender reassignment people? I say, “Hell yeah! The more the merrier!” And then if an earthquake actually does happen, chicks can share some of the blame with their fellow human beings.

dustin

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Author: Julie Meadows

Francophile, oenophile, French Scrabble advocate and future zombie apocalypse survivor.

3 Comments

  1. Apparently only women in Taiwan read her blog…’cause that’s where the quake was today.

  2. OMG! You are so awesome! I could not stop laughing. Great write up! I read it to mom… she loved it as well. Of course feminine persecution is a subject I have explored many times myself in the past from the Spanish and French Inquisitions to the Salem Witch Hunts, on up to modern day shovenism. I find it quite interesting how men like to accuse us of having penis envy, while history shows repeatedly that it is our genitalia that seems to cause them insanity and mass hysteria. lol Of course, men are strength and women are power, but metaphoricaly speaking, we do have power to move mountains and cause earthquakes. Infact, I like to shake things up quite often myself.

  3. Don’t I know you do, Queen Eilene! lol

    I’m glad you got a laugh out of that and say “Hello” to your lovely Aquarius mother. :D

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